Is There Any Good In Goodbye?

A little precursor note for you:

Over the past year, it seems I’ve had a lot more goodbyes than hellos. 

I am abundantly grateful for the support I have, so I do not write about this season of goodbye fishing for sympathy/attention. 

Instead, I hope over the next few weeks, this blog can just turn into a classroom for both you and me as we share with one another what we have learned through loss and learn about how God sees it. 

My prayer is that we encourage one another (so please comment!) and that these posts bring us comfort and hope as we look to a day when we say "goodbye" to goodbye forever.

Why is the word “good” in goodbye?

Is there really ANY good in it? 

At face value, there doesn’t seem to be much.

In fact, I’d like to have a stern convo and a firm handshake with the person who created the word.

Sure, there are byes that are easily good.

No one cries when they say bye to braces, bye to acne, bye to the polyester gym shorts they made us wear in middle school P.E.

Those really are GOODbyes.

But then there are goodbyes that don't feel that good; they maybe feel okay. 

'Okaybyes.'

They are the byes that hurt but still leave you believing that life will be alright. 

I had some 'okaybyes' this year.

An 'okaybye' to a job that I loved for six years and a team I loved even more.

An 'okaybye' to my childhood home. I’m the nostalgic weirdo that has to say goodbye to inanimate objects. So I said goodbye to my room where my old Backstreet Boys poster hung and goodbye to the yard where we buried our retriever Molly.

Maybe you said an 'okaybye' to a friend who moved away, a lost piece of jewelry from your grandmother or said an 'okaybye' to college.

'Okaybyes' are more grey than dark. Light still creeps in from the end of the tunnel.

But what about the byes where light almost feels completely absent?

The byes that aren't good or okay. They are heart wrenching. 

The byes that make our stomach hurt.

The byes that seem too soon. 

The byes that leave a hole. 

The byes that empty out the Klenex box and fill our minds with questions.

The byes that make waking up the hardest decision of your life and brushing your teeth seem pointless.

Who cares?! They’re just stinkin’ teeth!

Those feel more like 'badbyes.'

How are we supposed to get through 'badbye'? It doesn't look as if any good is in them.

My husband lost his dad to brain cancer recently.

He was my husband’s hero and best friend, healthy, active, gentle and loving. 

And then all of a sudden … he was gone.

I remember walking through the grocery story right after his death thinking, “How can everyone be so normal right now? How can she be chatting on her phone and picking up a can of corn as if life is okay? It’s not!”

In my heart the world had stopped.

But I guess the world missed that memo.

You’ve had your own share of 'badbye.'

Maybe you’ve said byes that are much more often and much more painful than I.

So can there really be ANY good in it, any good in goodbye?

Well, s-l-o-w-l-y God is showing me some of the good - in the 'okaybyes' and even in the 'badbyes,' starting with the shortest verse in the Bible:

“Jesus wept.” (John 11:35)

I’ll go into why this verse has brought me comfort a little later. 

But for now, want to read the surrounding verses with me (John11:1-45)?

Over the next handful of posts, I'll be hanging out in John 11, pointing out some verses that have gone deep. 

Would love for you to hang out there with me as we talk about the hardship and even the beauty of goodbye.

(Would you like to join in on the conversation? What “goods” have you found in goodbye, if any at all?)